She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
