sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
