just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
