you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
