Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
