Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
