i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
