you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
