i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
