You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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