So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize