She said her name was "party"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
