I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Found the puke drawer
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
