Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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