I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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