It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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