I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
