If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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