New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
