we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
