After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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