Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
