its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
