he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
