I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
