Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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