if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
