There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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