Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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