woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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