If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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