I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
