He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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