STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
