I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
