If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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