so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't deserve a penis
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
