He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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