tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
