I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
