i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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