I look better un-naked...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
