Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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