i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
