guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
