my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
