you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
