dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
well you can't waste a boner
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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