I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
