why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
